I’ve been discussing with my husband for several years now the best way to help certain people with some very ‘special issues.’ I certainly would like to hear other opinions–although I believe we (hubby & I) agree.
How do you help, or is there any help for individuals whose reality is absolutely only their own and is actually not shared by anyone else? While we are sensitive that there are perhaps some residual emotional and/or mental damages either resulting from serving time in the military some years go or maybe even from birth, we also don’t want to encourage off-based thinking that is not helpful to them. We all have hopes and dreams and much of it won’t actually come true but there’s generally no harm in hoping. I’m all for keeping
hope alive. After all, Langston Hughes said, “If dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” However, I believe that there’s a certain type of dreaming that may actually be counter-productive.
We have a particular friend that insists that God has called them to become President of the US and is actually very sincere–you simply can’t tell them otherwise. They’ve been running since the ’80′s. A few other friends are their treasurer (it would be embarrassing to mention the treasury balance), secretary, etc. for their campaign. It has been my position that these friends are not actually helping by playing along (and I’ve mentioned this)–but I could be wrong. My thoughts are that each year as the individual’s own person funds are depleted (that could be used for everyday living and auto expenses) and as credit card balances rise to finance ‘campaign’ trip expenses, when it ‘s time to retire (and they’re right there), this poor person will have no funds on which to live. I believe that this is the aspect that concerns me most. So, of course, we don’t encourage this behavior–even though this is pretty much all they talk about weekly. There are others that ‘play along,’ saying, ‘President? Oh, that’s nice.’ There have been campaign breakfasts at hotels, etc. with 10 in attendance in a sizable room (10 very nice people who don’t want to cause hurt feelings, mostly campaign members). I (personally) feel that someone should shake them back into reality–as I’d prefer someone let me know before I go broke. Others may feel that they’re too far gone, so it’s better to simply play along and not offend them. Again, I could be wrong but would love to hear your thoughts. Play along? Or try to reason?
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Oh dear. This is a “sticky-wicket.” The Bible is full of stories of people to whom God spoke about something that seemed fantastical to everyone else: Abraham, Joseph, Noah, etc. It is difficult to discern without the help of the Holy Spirit what is at play here. About all that I could weigh in with is this: look at the fruit. It may be that God has spoken to your friends about this very thing but they are making no progress because the timing is wrong or there is some other issue within there lives (as yet undealt with) that impedes their progress. Certainly they are to be commended for their persistant faith on something they believe so deeply about. Other than the money issue and obvious lack of progress, do they have the moral character, social skills, and intellectual understanding to fulfill the job? Have they prepared themselves for what they believe is their calling?
I guess that in the final analysis, I would have to weigh in with you: try to reason.
They’re very nice but with some obvious mental problems. I believe the moral character aspect is mostly in tact; however, they are lacking in the other areas–socially, intellectually and in the area of preparation. They’ve been a write-in candidate since at least ’84. I’ve suggested perhaps they run for councilperson first. I guess I just don’t see how the few that play along with him are actually helping him… unless I’m missing something. I’ve dealt with senile people that ask the same thing over and over again and I answer over and over again as if they hadn’t asked the same thing before… because I know they can’t help it. So would this require the same type of compassion? Those in authority over him have tried to reason with him but so far, he just keeps going and spending… I guess my prayer should be that God would regulate the mind. Thank you for your insight.
First of all if you were truly a friend of mine, I will expect some honest criticism from you and vise versa. A true friend is one who is able to look in the eye of another friend and lovingly tell speak truth to their situation. You owe it to them as a true friend. Secondly, let me stop here and let somebody else share…
I tend to agree with speaking the truth in love. I’ve asked a few why they play along and their response was because they didn’t want any hurt feelings, which made me reconsider whether I was wrong for not just going along with it. I’d want someone to tell me too though. Now that I’m writing, it makes me think of American Idol and those who the judges are laughing at or insulting, which is another story; but it makes you wonder why their family didn’t tell them not to go on, that they’re not ready… or maybe family did… =(( Thank you for your comments.
Although I cannot give you any specific things to say to them I would encourage you to try and use and reason and not playing along.
EA, Thank you. I appreciate your comments. It seems that most agree so far… So since I have been speaking the truth in love, I will continue to keep it real and not play along. Blessings.